“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” Dr. Seuss
The pressure to conform is all around us. Our friends, families, employers, schools, religions, governments and organizations all take part in this pressure. Sometimes their participation isn’t conscious or intentional, but it’s pressure nonetheless and succumbing to that pressure is a guaranteed pathway to unhappiness. Remember this, always. You are unique! There is no one on earth exactly like you.
Our individual uniqueness shouldn’t be surprising. As a close friend of mine used to point out, all one has to do is look to nature to understand diversity and uniqueness. Look at snowflakes. Look at flowers. Look at trees. Look at mountains. Look at people’s faces. They are all 100% unique.
If these externals are unique, why would we think that our insides, our minds and hearts and needs, are the same. They’re not. They possess the same uniqueness as everything else in the world.
There’s no such thing as an average person. An average person does not exist. Each of us is unique and that uniqueness should be celebrated and fostered. When average human characteristics are discussed, what’s being discussed are statistical measures that can’t really be applied to an individual. How can you average character, bodies, psychology, education, values, ethics, family, social situation, lifestyle and other measures of what make up a person? You can’t.
Anytime we try to quantify or measure an individual’s makeup by any set of standards, they are destined to fall short. In spite of the pressure around all of us to all try to be the same, we just aren’t. And this is what makes life worth living. How boring if we truly all were the same. There would be nothing new to learn, explore or experience.
Even traditional psychotherapeutic strategies are increasingly embracing the concept of individual uniqueness. Transpersonal psychology, for example, attempts to embrace this more comprehensive view of human nature.
We must embrace our uniqueness. To do any less is to deny who you really are and the true nature of your self. You are the only person on the planet with the qualities you possess. It is only by fully embracing those qualities that you are able to be truly happy.
So what does this all mean? Be you! Don’t try to be who someone else thinks you should be. It is only by fully accepting your uniqueness, honoring it, embracing it, that you can attain maximum happiness and contentment. There is no other way. You simply can’t live your life on someone else’s terms and expect to be happy. It won’t happen.
At every turn, society attempts to force people into molds. Regardless of your special talents, your desires, your dreams, society, at all levels, want us to conform. Individuality is frowned upon. Uniqueness is not valued, at least at face value.
But society is dysfunctional when it comes to individuality. Religion, family, politicians, teachers, friends and others do their best to keep people more the same than different. However, when we deify our pop stars, television personalities and athletes, we want them quirky, odd and anything but normal.
Sure, we give lip service to embracing individuality. You hear people say they are open minded. But the truth is the vast majority of us (including me) are often being the person we think others want us to be, not the people we really are, and that’s not good.
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